Monday, March 23, 2009

"The Power to Tax involves the Power to Destroy."

"The Power to Tax involves the Power to Destroy." - John Marshall

Everything the government has, it stole from you and me. Probably more from you, though. See, there are a lot more of you than there is of me. But, that is beside the point. The point is, simply, that taxation is theft.

If I were to reach into your wallet, and "appropriate" a $50 bill, I'm pretty sure you'd call that theft. But it's not. It's not theft, because I'm not going to spend the money on myself. You see, I'm going to spend the money (minus my administrative fee, of course) on a bodyguard for you! So that makes it okay.

Now, this bodyguard is going to make sure that you are very, very safe. In order to do that he'll need to lock you up in your house. Also, he is going to take away all of your guns, bats, clubs, knives, sharp forks, and any other dangerous Weapons of Minor Destruction you might be harboring. He wouldn't be doing his job if he didn't keep you safe, now would he? You can complain, of course, but it doesn't matter. You didn't hire the bodyguard; I did, and he answers only to me. I must warn you not to cross him, or he will be forced to impose a heavy fine- or perhaps even lock you in a small room as punishment. He may even be forced to kill you. Don't worry, though; he has a badge and I've given him immunity for anything he does.

Please, do not complain. After all, you are paying for this bodyguard. He is rendering you an essential service, without which you simply could not survive. So tell him, thank you, for serving and protecting. He truly is a hero.

I know what you're going to say, "I don't care what you spend it on, you still can't take my money!" But you would be wrong. You're wrong, because I got all of my friends together, and we took a vote. It's democracy, you see? We voted, and we (the people) decided that you need to pay this guard $50 for your protection (rates subject to change). We don't want you to go without protection, so now you are being forced to be protected. Plus, you have enough money to spare. You make more money than the rest of us, and so the 'excess' should be taken away.

You'd better watch out. We're taking another vote, soon. We think Hobo Jim needs some new pants and a pizza. So we think it's in your best interest to pay for it. Also, some one was complaining about your car using up too much gas. You're welcome to vote, too, if you want, but you're kind of in the minority. At least if you vote, we won't have to feel so ambiguous about taking all your money!